The One Fear That No Longer Hinders Me

Everyone has fears. 

I have a fear of jelly fish and bees, and possibly large dogs. Some people fear spiders and snakes, crocodiles and lions, heights and oceans, but we all have fears. My fears were developed in me due to the social environment I grew up in. 

I lived by the James River and always heard horror stories (or so they seem to a child) of jelly fish unexpectedly stinging people whenever they went swimming. It didn't matter that the chances of getting stung are slim, I had been influenced to fear the unexpected. 

For bees my fear was similar. I was told of wasps that leave their stinger in your skin after they attack, and once, I witnessed two of my brothers raking leaves too close to a nest of yellow jackets. The end result was a yelling wild run as my brothers tried to escape the pain of numerous bees unexpectedly stinging wherever they could find open skin, to the point the bees even crawled under my brothers' shirts. 

You probably get the point by now. I feared the unexpected, however, not because I didn't think I could handle the pain (I'm an eighth child, I can handle pain), but because I had no control over when the pain might come. 

So it was with me when it came to transitioning from being a home school student into the big wide world. I feared the unexpected. 

I feared I would become a college student just like everyone else my age, but somehow, because of my background, I wouldn't be ready for the unexpected. In addition, I didn't know what purpose I could offer the world. I have many small talents and passions, but if I had to make a choice, I couldn't decide whether to go for graphic design, major in music, join a circus (because I ride a unicycle and juggle), or pursue dance and performance because I felt so alive during a competition once. I also like to think, so I even considered philosophy. 

How could I make such a huge life and financial decision based on what little experience I had? 

I needed a year to focus. 

A year to slow down and contemplate my strengths and purpose.  

I needed a year to experience the world on my own, apart from the comforts of my social environment and the chilling level of pressure society places on young adults to have everything figured out after his high school graduation. 

I needed Focus One. 

Focus One, however, was not my saving grace. Rather, this one year discipleship program became the conduit for my Heavenly Father to weed out my insecurities and fear of failing when my background ceased to prepare me for the unexpected. 

I now live by the motto, Jesus is more than enough for me. In the light of eternity, what can I gain or lose that can possibly separate me from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus? 

Yes I may fail, but the unexpected has no hold over me anymore. I have Jesus to cling to and a world of possibilities should I succeed. 

So what fear is holding you back from accomplishing your dreams? 

God is an all consuming fire, He can put you through the crucible to refine you into the person He created you to be, you just have to let Him. 

Sign up for Focus One today if you feel like it's for you. You don't have to be afraid of failure or that home schooling hasn't prepared you for the public. You are better than that and you have a place in this world for this very time!

P.S. Here's a video of my confessions. 

Man Attends Party, What Happens Next Will Shock You.

Boys and girls, wanna hear a true story? 

Saturday night, I was at this real wild party. They had the liquor overflowin' the cup, and about 5 or 6 strippers trying to work for a buck. I took one girl outside with me, her name was Lonnie, she went to Junior High with me. I said, "Why are you up in there dancing for cash? I guess a whole lots changed since I've seen you last." She said... 

"What would you do if your son was at home, crying all alone on the bedroom floor, 'cause he's hungry and the only way to feed him is to sleep with a man for a little bit of money?And his daddy's gone somewhere smokin' rock now, in and out of lock down, I ain't got a job now. So for you this is just a good time, but for me, this is what I call life."

Sadly, this is based on a true story.

In 2001, the R&B hip hop trio called City High released this song called "What would you do." They received a Grammy nomination in 2002, but if you live under a rock like me, then you probably never heard it until the British band Bastille released a cover on their 2013 album, All This Bad Blood.

Evidently, the singers Ryan and Robbie from City High were at a bachelor party when they saw this friend of theirs stripping. When they confronted her about it, she told them her story as stated in the above lyrics.

This saddens me for multiple reasons.

1. This woman is degrading her body and self-esteem by selling herself as an object for sexual pleasure.
2. Men are willing to treat her like an object rather than an individual with unique character and purpose.
3. Was there no viable alternative to turn to other than selling herself?
4. How come no one is or was willing to help her? 

From the lyrics of this song, Robbie and Ryan seem to encourage Lonnie to stop making excuses and get up off her feet, but what do they do to come along side her and help her? They write a song.

I don't want to bash this song because I think it carries a message for my generation of young adults, but deep down, I hope they tried to help her find a way out of this lifestyle.

I'm not here to bash Lonnie either. In fact, I respect her for taking responsibility to raise her child at all costs. I believe in supporting human life, and I think it was very mature of her to set aside her own goals in order to provide for her son.

If I'm going to criticize anyone, it will be the men who think it's okay to use a woman for her anatomy just to have a good time.

There's no way around the fact that women are attractive. And no one can deny acknowledging that for centuries, women and men have always needed each other to be biologically successful. But step outside the concrete with me and consider what is morally ethical.

Would you want your sister, mother, or even your daughter being treated as an object of human sex trafficking?

I made the claim in an earlier post that mere association with pornography causes human sex trafficking. Yet what about tolerating or participating in the industry that supports strippers or prostitutes? This also creates an open door for enslaving individuals because it is built on the same perspective that women can be treated as objects of sexual pleasure without consent.

Though an argument can be made for women who may want to live in prostitution or for those who just want to earn a few extra bucks as a stripper, it is nullified if we simply believe each life is unique, has purpose, and deserves respect in view of this.

No man would be willing to pay for a stripper or sleep with a prostitute if he genuinely cared for her. He would treat her with the same respect he has for his own skin simply because he sees equal value in her that he sees in himself.

You may be thinking, "I don't know a single guy who wouldn't want to be paid to have a woman sleep with him." You'd be right, and this is the problem with society. We've bought the lie that it's acceptable for men to treat women as though they have nothing more to offer than a 'good time.'

I challenge you to place yourself in the body of just one of the 27 million individuals enslaved worldwide with the largest portion of those people being enslaved for sexual exploitation.

Be rhetorical and ask yourself why the market for trafficking you is the third largest criminal organization in the world (as of 2011). "Why do people (particularly men) care so little for me?"

We need to end prostitution and human slavery by replacing those objectives with a mindset built in humility and respect for the dignity of life. Then we can create new jobs and avenues for women to work and feel respected as individuals.

With the revenue from human exploitation (which is roughly $44 billion), we could drop the unemployment rate. We might be able to end or put a damper on world hunger (estimated between $30 to $70 billion). We may even be able to change culture so drastically divorce rates slow down due to less cheating.

I think it's time to take life by the horns and make it our goal to support each individual with decency and value such that he or she can live in an environment more hospitable toward the dignity he/she deserves.

It starts with changing our perception, concludes sex trafficking survivor, Rebecca Bender, as well as front line activist, Stacy King, who works to support victims of human trafficking.

So I challenge you: Change your perspective on this matter.

Start being more purposeful in your treatment of others.

Now is the time to live with a people-centered mindset!